If We Get Pulled Over…

If we get pulled over, I hope I’m driving. 

I hope I’m driving because my husband’s beautiful full blood skin and stoic stare may be too much for a cop to bare. 

I hope I’m driving because I fall just a few shades lighter on the criminal scale…

Because when they approach the vehicle they’ll see me – sitting there – hoping, for the first time in my life, that I appear…white. 

I’d explain how a member of my family serves alongside them…

I might even drop their name – so they may clearly hear the white there. 

And with these defenses in place,

I would pray my half white privilege would be enough to shield my other skin from deadly assumptions. 

With my hands gripping the wheel, I’d be cursing myself for hiding…myself. 

But I would. 

I would because all the while I’m acting as white as possible, Diamond Reynold’s video of her fiancé’s last moments would be seared to my retinas – just as that moment is to hers.

These are the thoughts looping in my mind…

All this to prepare – stay alive…survive. 

Survive – it’s all we’ve been doing for over 500 years…

…I’m tired of surviving. 

It’s time we live.